I believe that when we fit something into our life that doesn't really belong, it's more than our joy that's sucked away. Energy, time, resources, and general well-being all suffer because we are so determined to fit / cram / stuff everything in, all in the name of ...
Or, if I'm hanging out with that same mom, we could find companionship in our struggles and lean on one another for support and encouragement to improve our relationship. I could say, "I struggle with that, too. It's not just you." Focusing on the commonality and the fact that we could love each other through the mess would be so much more constructive than writing each other off as a snarky witch who cares only about her super-smart kid.
We want everything good for our kids, and as a parent you discover pretty early on that you'll do almost anything to make your child laugh and to see her happy. The simplest and best way I know to do that is to lift our daughter up to the God who created her and ask Him to protect her, to guide her, to love her, and to help her love Him. Then, and only then, do we feel a little better about sending our baby beyond ourselves.
You know what else is important that we don't talk about very often, myself included? Self-compassion. We're so often encouraged to show kindness and compassion to others, which is the right thing to do, but when we are going through something difficult, why is it so hard to turn that around on ourselves? Sure, we do something nice for ourselves, like eat a box of cookies (no? just me?) or we take a night out with our friends. But the self-talk stays: I'm ridiculous, I'm a terrible mom, I failed -- AGAIN, and on and on and on.