For two years, I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I posted “authentically” in various online spaces. I hosted a podcast. I wrote for other blogs. I did all of those things, and it was just … not me. Bits and pieces of it were. But the stuff that drained me was not balancing the stuff that invigorated me.
I am Democrat. You are Republican. Peace depends on me.
I am a woman, you are not; peace depends on me.
I am a Christian, you are not; peace depends on me.
In a recent Blue Bloods episode, Danny reveals a family pact the adults all made the day their children were born: We made the choice to bring you into the world. You didn't make the choice, we did. So a bargain was struck that day that you owe us nothing and we owe you everything.
He's right. We owe our children everything. …
Our Life Story is made up in fractions. However, since we forgot everything we learned in third grade math I think sometimes we get stuck and think that PART of our story is going to end up being our WHOLE story. But that's not the case. Basic math tells us that PARTS and WHOLES are very different, and that one piece does not define the whole pie.
I believe that when we fit something into our life that doesn't really belong, it's more than our joy that's sucked away. Energy, time, resources, and general well-being all suffer because we are so determined to fit / cram / stuff everything in, all in the name of ...
Or, if I'm hanging out with that same mom, we could find companionship in our struggles and lean on one another for support and encouragement to improve our relationship. I could say, "I struggle with that, too. It's not just you." Focusing on the commonality and the fact that we could love each other through the mess would be so much more constructive than writing each other off as a snarky witch who cares only about her super-smart kid.
Regardless, motherhood is a universal yet personal experience, it's an identity, it's a way of being.
But it's not all she is.
She's more than Mom.
We want everything good for our kids, and as a parent you discover pretty early on that you'll do almost anything to make your child laugh and to see her happy. The simplest and best way I know to do that is to lift our daughter up to the God who created her and ask Him to protect her, to guide her, to love her, and to help her love Him. Then, and only then, do we feel a little better about sending our baby beyond ourselves.
